Life and death.

Immediately after receiving my Green Card I began searching Virgin Atlantic Flights. I had dreamt of this day for almost 350 days. Flying home for Christmas. My favourite movie was coming true and I was playing Cameron.

However just as you feel content with life and you’re embracing yet what feels like, another ‘honeymoon period’ something occurs to keep you on your toes. For me, it was the worst-case scenario: family death. 

I’d been away for almost a year and there had been countless moments when I’d dreamt of hugging my family and sharing many more laughs with them upon my return, whenever that may have been. To hear that my beloved Grandma of 94 years old was sick was absolutely heartbreaking and I felt a sense of urgency to get home. I must have known.

Immediately, I knew that my romantic, festive return to England for the holidays beside my husband would no longer be my first trip back home after all this time. So, all too familiarly, I booked my solo flight and landed in England the same day.

Just several weeks previously, I would not have been able to do this.
She must have known. She must have held on. I’d always promised to come back.

Mum and I reunited in the airport arrivals and broke down.

Following the tears, we headed straight to see her and sat beside her bed for five days, leaving only to eat and sleep. On the third day we locked eyes, she saw me for the last time. On the fourth day, we held her hand and on the fifth day we watched her take her last breath.

I can’t help but think, what if this had all happened two months earlier?

We would have had to make a decision that no human should ever have to make: sit beside my Gran to support her in her final days of life after 94 years OR terminate our entire VISA process, reopening the long distance gap and essentially, starting the last five years again.

We would literally have been choosing between life and death.

Thankfully the world was on our side and I got to share the last moments of life with someone incredibly close to my heart, but for those of you reading this who are less fortunate, I wish you all the love and strength in the world.


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